Right now, I'm just laughing at this it's been such a ridiculous day.........
First, this was the 2nd day in a row where I took a shit and a bunch of blood came out. So I go to the doctor and they tell me I have internal hemroids, lovely. I had had a hemroid for 4 days but thought it was just a regular one where u put Preparation H on it and it goes away....but no....if you put Preparation H on it it bleeds like a motherfucker.
Second, on my way to work some fucking ****** 19 year old rear ends me and destroys the trunk and rear bumper of my car. We were at a fucking stoplight.....I'm just waiting there and BAM motherfucker plows right into the back of me. Knocks me into a F-250 in front of me that fucks up my front bumper (I have a Toyota Corolla, not the sturdiest of cars). Beautiful.
Lastly, I decide fuck it I don't have to work tonite so let's throw a house party. We invite about 20-25 people and we all are having a good time. When all of a sudden, I have to shit and since I'm on rectal suppositories and stool softener fucking explosive diarrhea everywhere. Awesome. Try to flush and turns out I destroyed the toilet....won't go down at all. So of course there's a line into the bathroom and I open the door and say "This motherfucker is out of order for the night" and as soon as I open the door the stench spreads throughout the apartment. Needless to say, 10 minutes later everyone was gone. Fantastic.
So yea, this day has really fucking sucked. You owe me a threesome God.
First, this was the 2nd day in a row where I took a shit and a bunch of blood came out. So I go to the doctor and they tell me I have internal hemroids, lovely. I had had a hemroid for 4 days but thought it was just a regular one where u put Preparation H on it and it goes away....but no....if you put Preparation H on it it bleeds like a motherfucker.
Second, on my way to work some fucking ****** 19 year old rear ends me and destroys the trunk and rear bumper of my car. We were at a fucking stoplight.....I'm just waiting there and BAM motherfucker plows right into the back of me. Knocks me into a F-250 in front of me that fucks up my front bumper (I have a Toyota Corolla, not the sturdiest of cars). Beautiful.
Lastly, I decide fuck it I don't have to work tonite so let's throw a house party. We invite about 20-25 people and we all are having a good time. When all of a sudden, I have to shit and since I'm on rectal suppositories and stool softener fucking explosive diarrhea everywhere. Awesome. Try to flush and turns out I destroyed the toilet....won't go down at all. So of course there's a line into the bathroom and I open the door and say "This motherfucker is out of order for the night" and as soon as I open the door the stench spreads throughout the apartment. Needless to say, 10 minutes later everyone was gone. Fantastic.
So yea, this day has really fucking sucked. You owe me a threesome God.
ope:
